Quarantine Diaries: Day 6

Wednesday April 1st 2020 

Coronavirus Cases: 930, 819 

Deaths: 46, 781 

Recovered: 183, 750 

Today was uneventful for April Fool’s Day. I was expecting the government to come on TV and say, “LOL. It was all a prank, bro!” but no such luck. There’s not as much jolliness in general. People have their birthdays over video chat or not at all. I saw a video of a 90 –year-old woman being sung to for her birthday, but everyone was across the street. That was pretty cute and encouraging, but no one’s in the mood to celebrate. No one even posted the “I’m pregnant! HAHA JK” prank to Facebook, which is good because that is offensive to families who can’t conceive or have miscarriages.  

I ordered a pizza. Watched a few movies. Did some TV and film script writing. I have a movie script about a Mexican elite who summons his international bastard children to his ranch in Texas to have them fight to the death for the inheritance. It’s kind of a black comedy thriller. It would be cool if it were made because it’s an entirely Latin cast. I imagine Lupita Nyong’o as the lead. Many people don’t realize she was born in Mexico, though her parents are Kenyan. Technically she’s one of the only Mexicans to win an Oscar. The villains of the movie are the guards who force the siblings to fight. They’re employed by the Mexican elite, a character named Hernan Leon. They were initially called the Argonauts and led by a character named Jason. Jason was a Greek hero who went on a journey to reclaim his throne, kind of like earning his inheritance. A big idea of the film is “Nature vs. Nurture”, so I changed the guards to “The Pride”. They represented Hernan’s familial pride and also a group of lions is called a pride. I’m smart like that. I also wrote a spec script of “On My Block” about the primary characters meeting in fourth grade. I feel like fourth grade was just yesterday. Miss Johnston’s class. I was on the spelling bee team and broke my collar bone doing a flip in PE. I also fake cried about how my parents fought a lot, so I could get out of a geography test. It worked.  

Speaking of the past, today’s park walk was distinguished by sharp winds and the encounter of forgotten friend. There’s this guy that’s always running shirtless at the park, and my mom thinks he’s her dentist. I guess even dentists stay in shape. Today I saw him running with an old middle school friend. He may be her father. The two of them were jogging with my girl’s boyfriend who I think is her fiancé now. He proposed to her on a mountain, which is what a lot of people do around here. We have so many mountains, and the pictures always get a ton of likes. It’s crazy to think that people my age are getting married or having kids. I’m still hesitant to drive on the highway. Other people are out traveling the world and making memories, but I’m here in the same old town working and living in my parent’s house. That might be sad, but I think of it as saving money to do stuff later. When that “later” will come? I don’t know. I also felt bad about moving out because my mom tells me she’d have empty nest syndrome. Things are different now that she has baby Lucas, but it’s not like I can make any plans with this virus freezing everything. Everyone’s plans are put on an indefinite hiatus. We’re losing time and lives with every new case. 

Today’s Entertainment: 

Film – Crawl (A woman tries to save her dad during a hurricane, a white girl with cornrows robs a gas station, and there’s ALLIGATORS EVERYWHERE! That’s the most Florida movie I’ve ever seen), X-Men: Dark Phoenix (the movie that killed the X-Men franchise all over again), and Anaconda (Not the Nicki Minaj classic, but the movie about Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube fighting a bunch of snakes. I thought they were supposed to be on a plane, but apparently that’s a different movie with Samuel L. Jackson aka The King of Hollywood). 

Quarantine Diaries: Day 5

Tuesday March 31st 2020 

Coronavirus Cases: 854,307 

Deaths: 42, 016 

Recovered: 176, 906 

Today was a financial reconciliation day. After waking up to the baby’s cries and pretending to be asleep so I didn’t have to help with him, I made my morning coffee. I’ve drank coffee since I was 3. When I went to my dad’s village in Mexico, all they had to offer was beer, water, and coffee. I think it started there. Apparently, babies Lucas’s age have something called a “witching hour”. It’s a period between 5 PM-11 PM where nothing satisfies them, so they scream their little heads off. It’s so cute. Mr. Tom told us he would flip his babies around by their legs three time to break up the gas bubbles. Tia Tere rubs oil and salt on the baby’s tummy using some kind of Mexican voodoo. My mom wanted my grandmother to come over to help, but she’s in self-quarantine. Can’t blame her. She’s already a hypochondriac, and everyone on the news says this thing is the elderly eradicator. My dad only complains about the baby’s whining, but he’s been less vocal since I told him, “Unless you’re helping, don’t say anything.” We had to use this time when he was being good to get work done.  

My parents usually end up owing the IRS, but I made it so they received a near $1k rebate. Being a first-generation Mexican kid, my sister and I have been primed in assisting with legal and academic documents. More my sister, but I guess the torch has been passed to me. It was a hassle finding their W-2’s, student loan payments, and proof of medical expenses (my dad had a hernia fixed last year). My father went back to work today along with the other department supervisors at the furniture factory he works at. They make metal tables like the benches you find at parks. The factory is right next to my old elementary school. One time I threatened to run away from Kindergarten to visit my dad while we were in the garden and ended up getting a splinter in my butt cheek during said escape. They had to call my 5th grade sister out of class to try pulling it out in the employee bathroom. She couldn’t get it, but my mom took it out in my sleep. I have a little scab on my cheek to this day. 

I’m pretty lucky that both of my parents have semi-steady jobs right now. My mom’s “essential” job interpreting at the health department is safe since she filed for “family leave” to care for Lucas. That makes sure she can’t be fired, which is important because everyone is being laid off recently. That brings me to the second part of my day: filing for unemployment. I work part time at the library and as manager at a custard shop, and both jobs closed. My boss went ahead and told me to file for unemployment, since we don’t know when Whit’s will open again. The website was so problematic. I kept getting error messages and lost signals. The only explanation is the flooding of the servers. North Carolinians, Americans, and Earthlings alike are all filing for unemployment just to stay afloat during these trying times. The stimulus check should be coming in soon and adults get $1200, which is like a 2 week’s paycheck working at minimum wage ($7.25 in NC). People are complaining that this sum is not sufficient to survive, but how do they think us lower classes live? Paycheck to paycheck. I also realized I’m not getting the full sum because I filed my taxes as a dependent of my parents. Dammit! Also, college students don’t get anything because of loopholes. Just another way the education system gives us the middle finger. 

I ordered pizza, and they canceled my order due to high demand. Everyone’s ordering food online. Fine, I didn’t want you anyway. I then ordered from a different company. Pineapple and mushrooms. An oddly good mix. Before you judge the pineapple on pizza idea, have you never heard of sweet and savory? At the same time the driver arrived, neighbor Tom brought some homemade walnut brownies. His schedule hasn’t really changed much. When you’re old and have seen the horrors of war, you do whatever you want. I can’t have nuts, but if I had known he was bringing brownies I wouldn’t have ordered some from Dominos. I ended up eating all the brownies and wings and pizza. I’m only getting fatter during this quarantine despite my walks. Today the park was not nearly as crowded, but that’s probably because of the rain. My weight has always been an issue with me. I was very skinny and frail as a child. I choked on food often, and once my dad fainted because I almost died on a chicken bone. When I started eating normally around puberty, I gained too much wait. As I write this, my dad tells me I’m gaining weight. When I tell him he is too, he says he walks 5 miles alone at work. He can’t use that excuse with the cut hours. A middle school classmate described me best when we were in the locker room.  

Oscars the type of fat where you dont know until he takes his shirt off. 

It’s the anniversary of Selena Quintanilla’s death. My mother loved her.  She lived in Texas with my dad’s family around the time of the death. We have TV-shirts, CD’s, magazines, and a commemorative stamp. She was a star. The real deal. Not like other cookie cutter popstars of her time. Plus, she was one of the first Latinas to cross cultures. My first concert was this past Fall watching a Selena impersonator. Her butt wasn’t as big, but whose is? Many people don’t know that Selena Gomez is named after her.  

I gave some of my masks to my aunt, Lucas’s grandma Tere. She works at a nursing home, and those are some of the danger zones due to the inhabitants’ susceptibility. Overall, 98% of the infected are expected to fully recover, while 2 % will die (mostly people with weak immune systems). I considered buying a hazmat suit online, but I could also make one. I saw how to do it in “10 Cloverfield Lane”. Movies are powerful educational tools. My ideal hazmat suit would have a Power Ranger helmet. I always wondered how they breathed in those things. I actually auditioned for that show, but I guess I’m not pretty enough. It’s a widely known thing that the casting director puts physical appearance before acting ability. I mean…just watch the show. If it still exists in the 40th Century or whenever you are. Oh! That reminds me. If you have access to a time machine, come visit me in this time! We can order more pizza. Bring a hazmat suit for yourself though. Ok…you’re not here, so I assume time travel is limited. Or the world ended.  

In an interview I read with someone from the Center for Disease Control (CDC), he said social distancing is the best possible weapon against this virus and masks are now useful again. It’s funny because “Contagion” said the same exact thing. The movie also said that rich people kept the severity of the disease quiet in order to better prepare themselves and their families. I believe it. Celebrities keep posting encouraging videos from their multimillion-dollar mansions. It’s easy to encourage others to stay home when your home has a functioning tennis court, movie theater, and infinity pool. It doesn’t matter because in the same interview, the CDC official said another wave was coming. Of course, money will play a factor, but if the Earth is trying to purge itself…it will. I’ve read reports of cleaner oceans and streams, less gas emissions due to less travel, animals are coming out of hiding, and the ozone layer is healing. At least there’s some good coming out of this. In addition to the environmental benefits, people are realizing just how useless most celebrities are and how important nurses, delivery drivers, and other emergency personnel are. Medical staff are stopping their kids from hugging them for fear of spreading the virus, while Kim Kardashian is reigniting dead Twitter feuds. 

I’ve been thinking about death a lot. More than usual anyway. I always have these existential thoughts late at night. My first real brush with death was when my mother’s cousin died of a heart attack. I saw him a few weeks prior in the CD section of K-Mart in our local mall. Then this girl I went to middle school with hung herself in her closet with a belt because of bullying. A few days before Christmas at that. Turns out the girls that went on the news crying for her were the bullies all along. Funny how that works. I knew death existed, but it was kind of an environmental thing. Around me, but not felt directly. My mom’s dad, our Papi Hector, had a flurry of lung problems since I was a pre-teen. He always smelled like gasoline and musk when I hugged him, and his beard scratched me when I gave him a kiss on the cheek. Our family went to all kinds of hospitals in North Carolina, Mexico, and Florida. He even met with some faith healers who told him his family was cursed. He worked in the orange and apple fields, so many pesticides and second-hand smoke could have contributed to the lung scarring. He was put on a transplant list, but that can take years. Years the recipients don’t have.  

My sister was going back to Spain for a new school semester, so we threw her a party. Red and yellow balloons. Flamenco posters. Real Madrid memorabilia. Stuff like that. We all wore red, even Papi Hector with his crimson button-up. We have pictures of the grandkids with him and his oxygen tank. Later when all the drunk uncles and sugared up cousins went home, Papi Hector told my sister he might not be there when she came back from Spain. They always had a special bond, like he was her father. This brutal truth devastated her. She considered cancelling her move, but he forbade her to. A couple weeks later, my parents and I were travelling to Texas for a paternal cousin’s wedding. On the way there, we heard the news. We pulled over and cried in the grassy area of a Louisiana gas station where dogs relieve themselves. We drove back to NC and the funeral was a few days later. I saw him one last time and wished him farewell. He was cold when I kissed his cheek this time. I’ll never forget that feeling. Some cousins refused to see him, and I couldn’t blame them. I just know that was a turning point in our family dynamic.  

His brother had died a few months prior in prison, where he was for something drug related. His sister died a few weeks before. He felt that he was next. Maybe the Corral Clan was and still is cursed after all. With his lung problems, he would be in strict isolation from this pandemic. He would hate being cooped up like that, like one of his caged birds I would release when he was asleep. His widow, Mami Rosa, is in isolation at her apartment on the instructions of her daughters. She’s the matriarch now. The king is gone and now the queen must be protected at all costs.  

Today’s Entertainment:  

TV – Ghost Adventures (A show about ghost hunters or something. I was barely paying attention, but I would love to haunt someone. It sounds like so much fun. Another way I think about death) 

Film – Underwater (A nautical crew tries to hide from the Lovecraftian beast Cthulhu. They don’t succeed), Human Centipede (This one speaks for itself), and Contagion (A star-studded drama about a virus that seemingly predicted what’s happening now. I’m taking notes on it) 

Quarantine Diaries: Day 4

Monday March 30th 2020 

Coronavirus Cases: 760, 337 

Deaths: 36, 862 

Recovered: 160, 140 

I woke up to the baby crying as always, but he tends to be fussy at night and in the morning only. My mom made French toast, which was as decadent as ever. I usually tease my mom’s cooking, but it’s rarely bad. Something weird happened. The baby started crying while we were eating and my mom said, “Go check on your brother.” We immediately looked at each other in shock and laughed. I don’t know what this baby is to me. Is he my cousin? Nephew, brother, son? Some weird mix of all? I haven’t really thought about it during this crazy time. The Michigan Governer was talking to Whoopi Goldberg on The View about how states are actually bidding for the remaining medical supplies in the country because they can’t get imports from Italy and China right now. If that’s not some dystopian shit, I don’t know what is. 

The Harry Potter marathon continued with “Prisoner of Askaban” directed by acclaimed Mexican Academy Award-winning director, Alfonso Cuarón. That film is probably the most divisive because it’s so different tonally to the rest, but that’s what makes it special. Also, it deals with magic time travel. Audiences were probably just too dense to comprehend it. Alfonso Cuarón, Robert Rodriguez, Guillermo del Toro, and Alejandro González Iñárritu are my favorite directors. It just so happens that they’re all Mexican. I’m not much of a Scorsese, Tarantino, and Spielberg fan like everyone else, but I respect and enjoy their work. I want to be a writer one day, preferably in film or TV. That’s a tough industry to crack into, but I’m making progress by applying to programs and fellowships. I’m in an online writing group created by Ron Howard and Brian Grazer’s production company called Impact Community. Everyone else in the group is super professional and experienced, and I barely finished college. All I can offer is “I started college at age 14 and haven’t been arrested yet…” 

Yes, I went to college at 14, which is rare in America. It was an Early College program where high school students attend community college classes to get their Associates Degree and High school degrees in 5 years. I finished in 4. No big deal. It put me ahead in some regards, but I was so burnt out that I took a semester off before going to a 4-year college. I’ve always been academically gifted, so much that my elementary school put me in a special program to teach us Latin in a broom closet. It didn’t last long because we had just learned our regular ABCs. I then took honors classes in middle school, and quit in 8th grade, causing my Academically and Intelligently Gifted English teacher to cry. Before I even knew what it was, I was depressed. It runs in my family. Mexicans don’t talk about that stuff though. We’re just expected to fight through it and think positive thoughts. That’s machismo at its finest.  Medicine and exercise help.  

I went to the park again. There was a plethora of hot guys and gals jogging. Who’s first thought during an apocalypse is “I need to get in some cardio”? Admittedly, if this virus strain mutates into a zombie situation, cardio will come in handy. Unless they’re fast zombies like “World War Z” starring Brad Pitt. This one guy even looked like sexy Santa Claus. When he passed me, he smelled of peppermint, cinnamon, or some other Bath & Bodyworks signature scent. More than ever though, plenty of people wore facial protectants. Some wore medical masks, while others improvised with bandanas or scarves. Maybe they were in gangs. None of the dogs wore masks because apparently animals can’t infect humans. Animals wearing little masks would be cute. There was this huge, fluffy, dog that looked like a wolf/bear hybrid. His owner was brushing his fur when I was leaving. I aspire to be treated so royally. Because today was the official beginning of the statewide curfew, I had to get home by 5. I really got home at 6, so I’m kind of a rebel. Tell your friends.  

I spoke to my coworkers. They’re still in school, so I asked how it went. I’ve only heard bad things about this new “online” school situation. Apparently, it’s harder than normal school. Nonetheless, they said they can work at their own pace. Maybe that’s what the school systems need. Individualized learning. Some businesses and schools utilize video conferences, but they haven’t been so lucky. It’s sad because many kids rely on school for food, social interaction, and a safe environment. Parents need the free childcare. This epidemic has shown how underprepared the nation is for emergencies.  

I ordered food through an app, and it was delivered about 20 minutes later. I’m considering getting a job as a food delivery person. Driving around, listening to music, and spending others people’s money sounds great. Our neighbor, Tom Maybin, is a well-respected figure in the community. He was a Vietnam Vet. For being 80ish, he’s always outside cutting his lawn or cruising around town in his new car. He always comes over and asks about the family and tells us about his grandkids. His wife died a few years ago, and he lives alone now. His granddaughter lives next to him though, so he has people checking up on him. Since we’ve had Lucas, Tom visits periodically to give him money. We call him Lucas’s Papaw. Lucas is half-white, so it’s possible he’s related to Tom in some way. Today he gave Lucas $100. That man isn’t scared of no virus.  

Today’s Entertainment: 

TV- I am Not Okay with This (A teenage superhero blows up her rival’s head at homecoming. That’s the type of superhero story I want to enjoy) 

Film – Star Wars Ep 9 (It was just OK) 

Rhetoric of SNL

“Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night with your host Oscar Sifuentes”. That phrase is usually said by the narrator after the opening sequence. It states the host of the weekly episode. Every episode of SNL begins with a cold open, which is usually a political skit. Regardless of the nature of the skit, each cold open ends with one of the actors breaking character and yelling “Live from New York, its Saturday Night!” The show once went by the name Saturday Night when it first aired on NBC on October 11, 1975 (Saturday).Saturday Night Live is a long running comedy television program that features a variety of live skits, thus categorized with the term “variety show”. Every episode is hosted by a celebrity guest who performs an opening monologue after the cold open and participates in sketches throughout the show. Along with the weekly host, each episode features a musical artist to perform twice during the hour long show, except for Prince who was the first artist to perform one, 8 minute performance. The show’s comedic timing, entertaining hosts, and musical performances give it the appeal to reach a large audience of different fan bases.

Lorne Michaels’s name is synonymous with the program. He is the producer, director, and head writer of SNL. In many ways, he is the author of SNL. He writes the skits in a way so that it will impact the audience in more ways than just laughter. The audience is primarily adults in the United States, but it is very likely that the program reaches audiences globally. The jokes include satirical humor pertaining to issues plaguing the Unites States and for that reason the audience is primarily the United States. Aside from just relatable and often times raunchy skits, the show puts a comedic spin on news events in a segment called Weekend Update.

Weekend Update is an informative parody of classic news programs. It is one of the few sketches that is consistently in every episode. It consists of usually two of the shows players relaying news events of the week with a comedic spin. Logically, logos, the sketch gives real information about the weeks most important or unusual events. The sketches include both national and international news. For example, the fake news anchor may say something like, “Kim Jong Un won the election in North Korea”. Then they would follow with, “He easily defeated his challenger, Or Else” (Saturday). The effect is humor along with the knowledge that North Korea’s government may seem corrupt to the typical American.

The main appeal used in the entire show is pathos, or emotion. Happiness is often caused by a joke. SNL is full of jokes. Therefore, the show’s humor often creates some level of happiness to most viewers. Although some of the news events occurring around the world may be devastating, the writers know how to make the retelling of those events appealing comedically rather than in a depressing manner. The show SNL was and still is a comedic way to cope with devastating events. The show serves as a distraction from the emotional pain. Still, the show tries to not cross the symbolic line with their humor. In that way, the show is very helpful to those that worry or have been personally affected by events discussed during Weekend Update.

Many of the jokes during Weekend Update often come at the expense of prominent figures. For example, the show very frequently jokes about Obama and how many very openly disapprove of his health care initiative, Obamacare. The show is a friend to Obama and has even had him on as a guest, so the jokes aren’t taken too harshly by the subjects of the jokes. The jokes question his character and motives. Still, sometimes the jokes will work in favor of the United States, making the country look better and less “damaged” than other countries. Those jokes will evoke patriotism from the American viewers, which is a form of character. In that way, Weekend Update even uses ethos effectively

The context of the event depends on what happened that week. For example, when Presidents give speeches, Weekend Update will surely dissect those speeches and joke about the speakers themselves. Many of the jokes are usually related to the US and other countries might not understand them, but like mentioned before Weekend Update also covers global news. The fact that other countries’ viewers may not understand American government or culture would be a constraint of the show’s conveyed message. The idea of spreading knowledge of national and global news in a comedic way would be the shows exigence, or purpose.

Saturday Night Live is still running strong today. As long as the country goes on, there will be issues. As long as there are issues, there will be material for the show to play off of. “In any rhetorical situation there will be at least one controlling exigence which functions as the organizing principle: it specifies the audience to be addressed and the change to be effected” (Bitzer 7). Some people will love the show for its jokes, lovable characters, and great live music. Some will love it for its satirical political skits. Many admire the shows honesty. It doesn’t sugarcoat when it recollects events. It doesn’t hold back in providing the viewer with an opinion if the viewer can’t make one for them self. “In short, rhetoric is a mode of altering reality, not by the direct application of energy to objects, but by the creation of discourse which changes reality through the mediation of thought and action” (4). It causes the viewers to think about the issues. It may be at times offensive, but it is still a defender of rights for all. In a country like the US, famous for ignorance and blatant racism, it’s when watching SNL or events like The Olympics that many feel most patriotic. The show’s writers know how to get people to pay attention and that’s what rhetoric is all about. The show is logically, ethically, and emotionally appealing and that is why it is successful in attracting and keeping loyal viewers.


Did You Get The Joke?

When parents don’t want to deal with their problematic kids, they sit them in front of the glowing wonder known as the television. Needless to say, I was a crazy child and was constantly watching TV shows. I have probably seen every episode of the golden age of Nickelodeon and Disney, which included shows such as All That, The Amanda Show, That’s So Raven, and so many others that are fundamental of a 90s child’s memories. The thing about kid channels is that all of the shows are comedies, or at least meant to be. Those sitcoms made me contemplate what comedy really is and how it works. I, and so many other kids my age, have unintentionally memorized whole episodes of dialogue and plot. Sometimes I would go to school and quote lines from my favorite shows (often adding my own commentary) and be overwhelmed by the laughter and happiness that I introduced to the room. I was especially surprised that I got the girl I liked to laugh. After the group of children dissimilated to resume their daily activities or finger painting and reading (and by that I mean just looking at the pictures), my crush came up to me and with a smile said, “You’re really funny.” It was in that moment that I realized that humor was a respected trait for a person to have in society. It was in that moment that I would realize what I wanted to be, an entertainer.

Saturday Night Live is a long running sketch comedy show that has been on since its premiere on October 11, 1975. It airs on Saturdays; it starts at night, and it’s live (pretty self- explanatory). Late night shows, such as this one, are usually aimed at adult audiences; therefore, the jokes are a little more risqué. I recall at a young age watching the show with my family and them laughing at some joke I didn’t understand. The joke itself is irrelevant; it was probably just Will Ferrell doing a satirical impersonation of George Bush, as he is very popular for. The next day I went to school and started saying “Hey, I’m President Bush” in the most redneck accent I could. Most of the kids in my class had actual redneck accents and didn’t understand the joke. I know for a fact that those grade schoolers probably didn’t get the humor in poking fun at the infamous President. After looking out at a sea of twenty pairs of young beady eyes glaring at me with blank faces, I was done quoting TV lines.

George Lopez and Gabriel Iglesias are both Mexican-American comedians that I grew up watching as well. If you are Hispanic, then you know that jokes in Spanish usually involve Spanish curse words. If those jokes were translated, kids in American schools would be scolded for repeating them in public. My best friend would often tell me such jokes (unfortunately I don’t remember any of them). He was a class clown of sorts and always had people laughing. Still, his jokes were usually at the expense of others. This got me thinking of the different types of humor. There is also the type of humor where the comedian’s jokes are at their own expense. For example, every single one of the long time Youtuber Shane Dawson’s videos features a joke about how depressed or fat he is. That type of humor was even displayed in an episode of SpongeBob when Patrick was willing to fall on his face just to get people to laugh. I, like Gabriel Iglesias, prefer the everyday type of humor where daily events are told in a comedic manner. Events like my DC excursion, me falling out of a moving car with a child as a parachute, and shooting my TV with a toy bow and mallet (I used a xylophone mallet instead of a toy arrow) have made me quite knowledgeable in how to retell a story to get a positive reaction out of people.

After years of watching the TV shows that I did, you almost expect to hear a laugh track every time something comical happens in your life. The ABC show The Middle follows the life of a fictional stereotypical American family in the Midwest, the Hecks. Many families like my own are attracted to the accurate portrayal of middle class life when many other shows don’t touch on the subject of financial instability. I am 99% convinced that the writers of that show are following my life and using my family’s adventures to their advantage. The children of the show are basically my sister and I. My sister is athletic like the oldest son, Axl, but has all of the misfortune of the sister, Sue. My mom is hard working and my dad is very serious like the parents of the show. Brick Heck, the socially awkward youngest child, is a perfect replica of me at his age. The time my family traveled to Washington DC to get my sister’s passport for her Spain travels felt like an emotional, 2 part, season finale of a popular TV show such as The Middle. The temperature was below zero, my mom broke her heel walking down the cobblestone street, we got lost (very lost), and the whole purpose for our trip was nearly unfulfilled. I knew we were in trouble from the second my sister said, “I need to go to the Spanish embassy in Washington DC”. I am also convinced that my family’s life acts as a popular sitcom in a parallel universe and the Brick of that universe is convinced of the same.

I have even been told by people around me that I should get a TV show after I tell them some of my adventures. I definitely could see that happen. Each of my family members would make great characters. One of my cousins, Chato, is very witty and adult-like in the way he converses with people. I have to be careful with what I say around him because he is quick to turn my words into a self-inflicting weapon with his insults. He was my parachute when I fell out of that car I mentioned earlier (he opened the door on purpose just so we would fall out). My grandmother would also make a great character. She is wise but has a very short temper. Her road rage alone would make a great episode. I recall the adventure in which she drove my cousins and I around and we came across a turtle in the road. We stopped and put it in a plastic bag. Just my luck, a police showed up and questioned our actions. My older cousin (I have a lot of cousins), Bianca, translated for my grandmother. “I’m sorry sir, we just wanted to save this turtle” With the batting of all of our eyelashes, the officer was gone. When we arrived to the house, the bag had a hole in it and the turtle was never found. Experiences like the turtle rescue and DC trip proved to be useful as I learned how to be a good storyteller.

My show would be funny, emotional, and inspiring. I may seem conceited, but I’m not claiming to be the wittiest person in this universe (maybe in the alternate universe where my show is a hit). I’m thankful that I watched so much TV as a kid. I was inspired by my sponsors’ humor to create my own type of humor. I thank George Lopez, my best friend and his offensive humor, and all those countless shows for teaching me how to tickle someone’s funny bone. I was inspired to pursue entertainment because I now see comedy as an inspiring tool. I and so many others have learned through comedic experiences about themselves and the world . Life is like a TV show and I can’t wait for next season.