Quarantine Diaries: Day 93

Wednesday July 1st 2020 

Coronavirus Cases: 10, 801, 841 

Deaths: 518, 843 

Recovered: 5, 938, 530 

Today I felt a little less depressed. Slept in a bit more although the baby continued screaming from the morning throughout the day. I drank coffee, tried applying to the Nickelodeon Writing program to no success (couldn’t find the release forms), and attempted to comfort the baby during his little demonic fits. Today was the first weekday we’ve been open at work, so I went to visit my coworkers on my day off to see how everything was going. I saw this girl I went to middle school with as she waited in line. She was pregnant, but I had no further questions because this girl was a bitch. Her mother is the nicest person you could meet so I don’t know what happened there. They’re rich, so maybe money spoiled her? I bought some custard. See! I don’t steal all the custard for myself!  

My little cousin is going to a friend’s birthday party at his house while his mom and sister head to Charlotte for the weekend. I was never allowed to do that stuff. My parents watched me like a hawk. I guess it worked out because I was a straight A student, soloist percussionist, and soccer player. My sister was similar. Sometimes I think we missed out on normal childhoods, but this is common among immigrant children. We feel like we have to go above and beyond just to feel like we belong. We have to be better than the Mexicans and the Americans, just like the Selena movie says. It’s exhausting. Then again, why would I have missed out on? Sex? Drugs? Partying? Drinking? Heartbreak? I can do all that in my 20’s and 30’s with an established life, career, and sense of self. I’ve never wanted to have a life like everyone else. So, I guess let’s keep it going.  

Today’s Entertainment 

TV – Stargirl (this show is getting cheesy and I’m not liking it) and La Casa de las Flores (I finally finished it) 

Quarantine Diaries: Day 92

Tuesday June 30th 2020 

Coronavirus Cases: 10, 583, 882 

Deaths: 513, 861 

Recovered: 5, 794, 489 

One of my old professors asked me to writer her a letter of recommendation for the tenure review board. She was the director of the Looking Glass Writer’s Conference where I served as the first student intern. Her husband was my tutoring supervisor and the mentor of my senior project. He helped turn my book into what it became. They are both young professors fresh out of graduate school. She wrote me a letter to help me get my librarian job, so I was happy to return the favor and churned out an eloquent piece of convincing prose within an hour. So basically, I’m who doctors come to for good word of mouth.  

I was in a funk today. I guess technically it’s just depression, but I thought a walk would help. I went. Walked a few laps. But nothing entertained me. Music, podcasts, books. I just didn’t care. My body felt much heavier than it usually does after a few miles. I decided to go see my nieces and nephew. We took them pizza. We caught up. They were adorable. I ate a lot of food. When I got to a family members house, I will eat whatever is in their fridge or pantry. We are blood, so why should I feign modesty? Now I’m back home. The baby has been very whiny lately. We think he’s teething. We got him so cactus shaped teething toys from Target with one of his baby shower gift cards. Why does a fourth month old have more money that me?  

We also talked about this app called Randonautica that sends you coordinates to a random location to explore. Some kids found a suitcase with human remains on the beach with this. Others have been followed home. Others have encountered threatening characters. I think it might be some kind of black-market app to trick people into going to a location where they can easily be kidnapped, killed, or ripped apart for organ trade. Either way I made my cousin delete that shit real quick.  

Today’s Entertianment: 

TV – La Casa de las Flores (this show wild) 

Quarantine Diaries: Day 86

Wednesday June 24th 2020 

Coronavirus Cases: 9, 520, 199 

Deaths: 483, 959 

Recovered: 5, 169, 270 

I’ve had a runny nose all day. I took a non-drowsy allergy tablet, but my nostrils poured snot like a faucet. We visited my aunt and cousin. My grandma started roasting us as she does and then zoomed away in her new car with her Mexican music blasting. There was this cute young guy walking by on the phone and my aunt had no idea who he was, but she was trying to convince my cousin to date him. That’s what Mexicans do. They see someone around your age, you better ask them out. “I want grandkids”. She said, “ew no”. They discussed going to Charlotte over this July 4th weekend, but I have to work. I don’t really get days off. Being an essential worker is a gift and a curse, but at least my pay is getting closer to normal.  

It was announced today that the NC Phase 2 is being extended three weeks, and masks will be required. I can’t wait to see people protesting that while they walk around without washing their hands. Some will say “Jesus will protect me”. Do you say that when you’re driving without a seatbelt?  

I heard the story about Elijah McClain who was killed on August 24th 2019 by police as he was walking home wearing a ski mask because he was anemic. He tried pleading with them telling them he doesn’t eat meat and he would never hurt a fly. He was 23. He would play the violin for cats in his free time. They injected him with ketamine to calm him while they held him down. He choked on his own vomit and suffered two heart attacks. He was brain dead 6 days later. The body cameras “fell” and one officer is heard saying to move the camera. The cause of death was undetermined. It makes me sick to read that and I hope we as Americans don’t stop until police involved in murderers like these are held accountable. WE need polcie for the police. That’s why “defund the police” is trending lately. The idea is that the police force will be replaced by counselors, community services, and youth programs to prevent the need for policing in the first place.  

Confederate statues are being taken down around America. The Vance Monument in Asheville is being protected by men with assault rifles. Meanwhile, a “defund the police” street mural has been changed to “fund the police”. Imagine if you were Jewish and someone defended a Nazi statue. Then again, it’s hard for people to put themselves in another’s shoes.  

Today’s Entertainment: 

Film – The Lobster (a world in which you get turned into an animal if you don’t fall in love. It’s insane and the dialogue feels like a middle school play) 

 

Quarantine Diaries: Day 58

Tuesday May 26th 2020 

Coronavirus Cases: 5, 678, 242 

Deaths: 351, 638 

Recovered: 2, 426, 386 

*Disclaimer: I realize all of this is first world problems but this is my diary so let me vent. * 

My mom wanted me to order chicken fingers, so I ordered through the Zaxby’s app. The app glitched out and kept denying my order request, so I clicked “retry”. It kept failing. Finally, it went through. All good and well until my mother got into the long line and was told that no such order was placed. Still, my card had already been charged and I had a confirmation email. I then checked to make sure it was the right location. Indeed, it was. I checked my bank account and my card was charged not once, not twice, but 7 times for some chicken tenders! $16 each time so around $112! That’s so many chicken fingers! Apparently, the manager called corporate and the app was glitching statewide. My mom still had to pay out of her pocket so they better refund all of it. Now I sound like that lady who got mad at me with her card not going through when we first switched registers, but it’s annoying for all parties involved. Sometimes I hate technology. I was just praising these fast food apps days ago, and claiming Subway had the worst one because the customization never came out right. I guess Zaxby’s is now the worst one. Best is hands down Chick-Fil-A. They’ve got it down to a tee. Next Is Dominoes and Jimmy Johns. They’re pretty good too.  

I was going to go for a haircut, but the wait was still an hour at all times. One Great Clips in Missouri actually broke out with COVID cases after their reopening. I just want to shave my head at this point because my hair is greasy and oddly heavy. I went to the park with my friends. They were eating Chipotle. Barf. If I’m going to eat fake Mexican food, I will go with Taco Bell. At least the diarrhea is swift and painless. I caught up with a bunch of shows, but I’m going to work again tomorrow. I’m still really pissed about the Zaxby’s situation. I may never eat chicken fingers again. To top it all off, my dad made me do tech support to install yet another Wi-Fi extender that came in the mail because the company sent us the wrong version the first one. At least they sent us the newest one for free. Some companies care…about their reputation that is. Not about the customer. I read that only the ruthless and sociopathic CEO’s become successful because it takes a level of dehumanization to climb to the top of the business pyramid. Because of that, I want to be a writer. Instead of being mean to humans, they’re mean to fictional characters and that can’t hurt anyone except dedicated fans.  

Today’s Entertainment: 

TV – Rick and Morty, Vida, Stargirl, and The Durrells in Corfu 

Quarantine Diaries: Day 53

Wednesday May 20th 2020 

Coronavirus Cases: 5, 058, 715 

Deaths: 328, 260 

Recovered: 2, 001, 553 

So, she was hired after all. I’m excited to have my friends working with me. The other friend’s surgery went well I hear. I went to sleep at 8 yesterday so I could wake up early to go in at 9. I like to have a couple hours to drink coffee and poop and whatnot even though work is only 15 minutes away. I caught up with my YouTube videos, mostly celebrity talk show interviews which are all conducted over Zoom now. I secretly think Zoom started this thing to get business drumming up. No one is talking about Skype or Oovoo or Facetime. Only Zoom. It has a better name, not gonna lie.  

I worked today. Ate some pizza. Came home. Watched Hostel. Then watched more TV. Am probably going to sleep before sunset the way I did yesterday. There’s something about doing that that rsets the internal clock. Humans are driven by the sun. Our brains are anyway. Productivity and our bodily reactivity changes. Life has been so monotonous lately that I look forward to my sleep. If only for an escape of the normal realm. Last night, I had a dream that I fought a demonic dragon in my neighbor’s house. It had a British accent. The demon not the house. The house was more Appalachian. I also look forward to my meals, but I’m trying not to overeat. Tomorrow’s lunch will mostly likely be another chicken tender sub. I’m so excited. Proabbly the most I’ve been all month.  

Today’s Entertainment: 

Film – Hostel (I’d always heard of this movie, and it’s what I associated the word hostel with. When my sister would tell us she’s staying at a hostel, all I thought of was this horror film. It really surprised me that Jay Hernandez was the star of this film, even though he starts out as the jerk that almost always gets murdered so the good-natured friend can grieve and then come out alive. Apart from that, a Mexican lead in an English language horror film is pretty rare. Lupita N’yongo comes to mind in Us and Little Monsters, a movie where a kindergarten teacher protects her students from zombies. Diego Luna in Flatliners where he had a ponytail. Sara Paxton in The Innkeepers. Many people don’t know she’s Mexican. Daniella Pineda in Mercy Black. That one kid from Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark who was called a wetback. Michael Pena has done a few alien movies too. Huh. I guess there are a few) 

Quarantine Diaries: Day 52

Monday May 18th 2020 

Coronavirus Cases: 4, 887, 920 

Deaths: 319, 961 

Recovered: 1, 904, 666 

I woke up this morning to help Lucas get ready for school. There as a news report on Good Morning America about this reporter who was positive COVID who donated her plasma and saved another patient. There are no updates on a vaccine as of yet, so it’s good to know that there are other ways to fight back. I think it’s the antibodies in their blood. She said the donation was painless too, though it took a few hours.  

The House of Representatives proposed a second stimulus called the HEROES Act. Unlike the CARES act which gave us the first stimulus check, this one will give a full 1000 for dependents and give more money towards unemployment and small businesses. People are torn on it, so I’m not getting my hopes up.  

I went to eat with my friends. We met at the park, but it was raining so we drove to Chick-Fil-A and ate in the car. One of them is getting surgery tomorrow, so it was like a last meal. Hopefully not a literal last meal, but you never know with anything these days. That same friend got into graduate school with a full ride. Really makes me feel like shit, but I feel proud of him, I guess. I’ve known him since elementary school, but we didn’t really become friends until he starting working at Whit’s last summer. I thought he hated me before that actually. He got mad because I unfollowed him on Instagram, when in reality I had deleted my account. I have an addictive attitude towards social media, so every few years I delete and start over. It’s been like this since I was 12 and I got my first Facebook. I’m glad I’m so busy because it keeps me from scrolling and comparing myself to others all day.  

Today’s Entertainment: 

TV – Vida, Rick and Morty, The Durrells in Corfu, Legends of Tomorrow (There’s this whole interconnected universe of superhero TV Shows, but this one is my favorite. It’s got magic, time travel, and a team of misfits. That’s my jam. The newer seasons have adopted this self-aware sense of humor that the other shows like Arrow, Supergirl, and The Flash don’t have. Due to contracts though, the cast of characters is always changing, which can be refreshing but now only two of the original cast members remain and one – arguably one of the most accomplished actors- has been pushed to the background), and Stargirl (the newest of the DC superhero shows. It’s the basic teen learns how to control her new superpowers, but at times it’s comedic. The pilot has potential) 

Quarantine Diaries: Day 50

Saturday May 16th 2020

Coronavirus Cases: 4, 720, 077

Deaths: 313, 216

Recovered: 1, 811, 658

I’m exhausted. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I keep on a peppy persona, but it’s all fake. It even convinces me sometimes. I worked all day today. Brought my friends food. Even bought some balloons for the store. I was basically happy, albeit very sweaty due to my overgrown hair. Can’t wait for the haircut to lose all this bad juju I’ve been carrying around, like an opposite Samson with his powerful braids. The customer: mostly rude, retired, old, entitled rich entitled white people. Yes, I said entitled twice. They sap you emotionally. Dealing with their complaints, orders, questions, and everything in between. Not to mention managing the store and making sure none of the employees are being overworked. I’ve been there. These customers don’t even wear masks or gloves. They don’t care about anyone else’s health but their own, but they don’t worry because they believe this pandemic is just media hysteria. Not until it’s people they know will they believe it’s real. The same with anti-vaxxers, climate change deniers, and those people who are comparing this lockdown to oppression. They’ve never dealt with real struggle, so they don’t feel the need to sympathize or show compassion to anyone.

I’m too tired to type, but some things just weight on me. I managed to get another employee to help with cleanup after closing because it’s essentially a normal day’s worth of cleaning despite the virus. Still, we had this crazy crush at the end of the day and we had no time to prepare. We barely kept up. None of these people wore masks and they just huddle together eating their custard. It makes me sick, but it will definitely make them sick if you know what I mean. We’re just tired, but I’m still grateful to have a job, even if my pay has been reduced 25% in order for me to get as many hours as the boss can give me.

I can’t help but wonder if this is what I’ll be doing for the rest of my life. I don’t have any developments in my future. No relationship. No career. No higher education. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’ll just try to stay afloat until I do.

Wow I’m emo today. We served a bunch of bikers as well as medics today. So I’m essential to essential workers. Double essential. They even pulled out the stretchers to sit on and eat custard.  

Today’s Entertainment:

Online – The Earliest Show (a early morning parody show with two eccentric comedic improvisers as hosts dealing with cat outfits, celebrity interviews, and failed marriage proposals. It was a quick watch, so I don’t feel guilty about spending my time watching it instead of the 15 other shows I’m in the middle of watching)

Quarantine Diaries: Day 49

Friday May 15th 2020  

Coronavirus Cases: 4, 628, 228 

Deaths: 308, 642 

Recovered: 1, 758, 032 

I worked all day today again. Today was the first day we did the full menu and it was pretty smooth. My coworker/friend was kind of depressed because his ex-girlfriend is trying to get him to explain their breakup to her. He broke it off because he’s attempting to plan his future. It’s commendable. It’s a confusing time. He wants to go through it without also having to worry about a relationship. She’ll be going to college in another state soon, so some issues were sure to arrise. I tried to console him with the little psychology experience I have. I legally can’t diagnose him with depression, but I did take an intimate relationships special topics seminar. We learned about all types of relationships and what make them function. Also, legally I can call myself a counselor because counselors don’t need licensure. So, I’m a counselor now. Call me with your needs. I have been the source of information when people need help with something. My sister is too. I took that Myers-Briggs personality test (or a free version of it) and was deemed a Mediator, or a INFP. Here’s what 16personalities.com says about that personality type. 

“Mediator personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, Mediators have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. Comprising just 4% of the population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately high for the Mediator personality type – but when they find like-minded people to spend their time with, the harmony they feel will be a fountain of joy and inspiration.” 

So, I’m basically a wizard. There are two types of Mediators: Assertive and Turbulent. Turbulents care more about the opinions of others, which makes them introverted but also good listeners. I think I’m that type. I trust something like this over horoscopes and astrology, though I think there’s some commonality in the two. For example, Julia Roberts was born on the same day as me, which makes her a Scorpio. She also happens to be a Mediator type. Also, I’m a Scorpio and people hate Scorpios as much as they hate Nickelback.  

 Today’s Entertainment: 

That $$$ 

Quarantine Diaries: Day 46

Tuesday May 12th 2020 

Coronavirus Cases: 4, 337, 358 

Deaths: 292, 424 

Recovered: 1, 596, 978 

The day started with a bout of bad luck. My car was rattling hoarsely. Like a death rattle. My dad drove the car yesterday after I got home from work, so my first thought is that he broke it. Then my coffee spilled. I knew my dad would say it was my fault, but he’s more knowledgeable about car stuff so I let him do his thing. He helps with cars and I help with technology. It’s just how it works. Later in the day, I helped connect his laptop to his personal phone internet hotspot because our internet sucks. Then I tried to help him change his Zoom video conferencing background, but I’ve never used that software before so I was at a loss. I attempted and it looked like a broken iPhone screen. 

I worked all morning. At one point, I was stuck holding my nuts. That sounds bad. I was in the office grabbing bags of nuts from a fridge and a toddler locked me in the office. I got out. I also moved tens of boxes of frozen custard, which are like 30 pounds each. Ice is heavy. My friends wanted to meet at the park with boba tea and a sandwich for me they got from Asheville.  

They put MAYONAISE on it knowing good and well I hate all condiments. And the boba tea was disgusting. This is what I get for trying to be trendy. I threw away the boba and banished them from my park. Then I walked a few laps trying to let the anger simmer. My back started hurting and it was all just a mess so I took my hangry self-home and heated up some frozen burritos. On the bright side, I finally finished reading, or listening to, my book The Leftovers. Yeah, I prefer audiobooks. So what?! 

Today’s Entertainment 

Books – The Leftovers (half the human population disappears out of nowhere in “The Rapture” and people have to figure out life afterwards. Avengers: Endgame basically copied this premise. The weird thing is, something very similar is happening right now with this pandemic. A large chunk of the population will be gone or affected in some way) 

TV – Upload (I’d call this Black Mirror meets The Good Place. In 2033, people can upload their consciousness to the cloud when they die and become immortal. It’s a comedy, but it deals more with moral philosophy in the vein of The Good Place. I like it. It’s like a season long Black Mirror episode and Robbie Amell is hot. If you don’t think he’s objectively hot, you’re lying) 

Quarantine Diaries: Day 45

Monday May 11th 2020 

Coronavirus Cases: 4, 253, 802 

Deaths: 287, 250 

Recovered: 1, 527, 029 

Today I went to Walmart and Sam’s Club. Sister companies, but the clientele behaved very differently. Sam’s club customers kept their distance from each other, and all had masks. It’s 50/50 at Walmart, and it’s so damn crowded. It may have something to do with the fact that you need a membership card to enter Sam’s. That already cuts down the amount of people, plus there are hand washing stations for customers and employees as well as a team of greeters to clean the carts. The only issue is Sam’s doesn’t have bags. You have to carry all of your groceries. Cool. More work. And Sam’s mostly sells in bulk, so have fun carrying your 50 pounds of lettuce.  

At Walmart, I saw some Barbies for sale. You know I had to get them for my girls. The odd thing is there was this “You can do anything blah blah” set which is meant to empower children. There was a black male doctor for $7. Though Kat does need more men to even out her collection, I chose a beautiful black doll. You open the case and there’s two surprise sets of accessories. This one could become a musician with a guitar and microphone or a chemist with beakers and goggles. Kat loved it so much she kissed the box. Her and Addy stared at it. Even Mias stared at it, though probably the way babies stare at everything because nothing makes sense. I wanted to buy Addy a separate one because they always fight over it, but the one with a blonde blue-eyed Barbie cost more than double the black girl. What’s up with that? If there was another black girl, I would have just bought two, but alas it was the last one. Maybe because it sells more? I always want to get them the brown-skinned dolls, so she can grow up in a world where her Afro-Latina beauty is appreciated. She still rather have her pale ass Elsa dolls though. She has two. Addy stopping caring about the doll two minutes after opening it and made me open some sour candy that came in a spray bottle.   

Todays’ Entertainment: 

TV – Rick and Morty (they parodied Alien and Rick and Morty kind of made out, which is weird because their grandfather and grandson. Rick’s last name is Sanchez, which leads me to believe he’s Hispanic. I want to play Morty in a live action movie, but with Justin Roiland doing the voice dub. I can’t tread on perfection) and Vida (they met their dad. They thought he was dead and or deported. Also, there’s this annoying character that always cries and there was a scene and I knew she was going to cry although there was no reason to. Two seconds later, she starts crying in a gas station)